Eleanor Grace Graves Kitterman ~ 1918-2015
ELEANOR GRACE GRAVES was born February 12, 1918 on the dining room table (Kensington, MD) due to the rages of the worldwide Spanish Flu epidemic of 1918. She was the middle child of 5 siblings, and the middle girl of 3 sisters. This “centrist” position made her the “wild child”—(with the exception of Ralph-later on)—a “tom-boy” through and through; adventurous, friendly and fun loving (and stunningly pretty!).
She was loyal to her siblings, devoted to her mother (Margaret Grace Smith Graves), and fiercely proud of her father (Roy Ralph Graves). Her maternal grandmother (Maggie Smith) and five uncles (Smith brothers: Harlan, Guy, Jay, Van, and Curt) were favorites. They lived all over the U S A and their visits were exciting and greatly anticipated. Distant paternal grandparents died early in her life, as well as Roy’s younger brother, Leaman L. Graves, who died in WWI. Many memorable family vacations and reunions were spent at Crystal Lake in Michigan.
Eleanor and younger sister Mary married the Kitterman brothers: Eleanor married Dick (Richard Fred) and Mary married John (John Wellington). The Kitterman brothers were from Kensington, and part of the group of local friends from Central High School in Wash., DC. In the early years Eleanor, Dick, Jr. and Peggy lived with both sets of grandparents on /off in either Kensington, MD., or Germantown, MD, while the men were away during WWII. (John in the Navy, Dick in the Army).
Eleanor loved Dick very much, and was a great mother to Dickie and “Pegs”. We weren’t poor, but money was tight in those days. She was a good household manager, and she didn’t like spending money on herself.
The family lived briefly in Kensington, MD in a rented apartment. Money was finally saved to enable buying their first house near Sandy Spring, MD. Dick, Eleanor, John and grandfather Fred Kitterman worked hard renovating that old tenant house purchased from Dick’s scoutmaster from Kensington days. Because of post-war shortages, materials were hard to “come-by”. So Dick did a lot of bartering and picking over junk yards for materials. Labor Day 1949 was move in day.
Eleanor was managing and overseeing the rebuild: planting a garden, enrolling kids in their new school, and birthing a third child-Ellen. A “flock” of chickens, a “team” of Muscovy ducks, a donkey, a horse, 3 different dogs, and 2 cats (who had 2-3 litters of kittens/ year) were acquired in the six years at Eastview. This was a country setting compared to her Kensington/DC upbringing.
Another life changing event occurred in 1956 as Dick took an assignment to Berlin, Germany as a Foreign Service Officer. Dick, Eleanor, Peggy and 2 ½ year old Ellen sailed off to the new assignment leaving Dick, Jr. in MD with his new job. From the familiar home environment in MD. Eleanor was thrust into a vibrant and sensitive diplomatic arena. From day one, her German language lessons and cultural studies began. She was expected to speak German, to know proper protocol and decorum, and names of dignitaries. Her personality really began to shine : confidence, aplomb, adaptability, friendliness, grace, and at the same time she continued to be a good wife and mother to her two girls. Because of her innate curiosity and genuine concern for others, she successfully became a Foreign Service spouse.
From Berlin (1956-1960) Dick, Eleanor and Ellen moved to Karachi, Pakistan (1960-1963). Wendy was born in Karachi in 1962, and Eleanor got to be a great mom all over again, essentially raising two separate families.
January 1963 Dick was reassigned to Cairo, Egypt. Eleanor was involved in church activities, mission works, and school boosters’ activities with Ellen, and as time permitted travel to explore sites in and around Egypt, including church sponsored trips to Mt. Sinai and Jerusalem.
In the summer of 1966 the family returned to MD and purchased the farm home of Fred and Lyndall Kitterman (Dick’s parents), who had retired to Florida. Dick, Eleanor, Ellen, Wendy became members of Neelsville Presbyterian Church where Eleanor remained a member for 49 years (1966-2015). She was involved in many church activities through the years (worked in the Clothes Closet which supported families in need, delivered meals, hosted missionaries and supported church missions, played piano for special events and sang in the church choir, taught Sunday School), as well as other volunteer activities such as girl scouts, drama and band programs, and various school activities with Wendy and Ellen.
In the late 1988, Eleanor and Dick downsized and moved to a newly built home in a senior community (Crestwood Village) in Frederick, MD. She maintained her active volunteerism: hospital auxiliary, Parkinson’s group hostess, teaching English as a second language and reading in addition to her many church activities. Husband Dick, died in 1994. In 2011 Eleanor moved to an Assisted Living facility—“Homewood at Crumland Farms”. She was so used to living independently that she found it difficult adjusting to retirement living at Homewood. She was always most happy when she had a job to do. So she continued volunteering at Homewood which gave her purpose and contentment. Eleanor and Wendy visited residents offering complimentary snacks and a friendly smile, and she assisted students with reading at a local elementary school. Music was always a part of Eleanor’s life. It brought her great jor and happiness. She loved playing hymns on the piano, and continued to do so at Homewood up until months before she died.
Eleanor died of Alzheimer’s disease December 27, 2015, just 6 weeks short of her 98th birthday.
Eleanor and Dick have 12 grandchildren, 20 great-grandchildren, 5 great-great grandchildren as of 2020.
To the younger members of the family: grandchildren and great-grands et al: YOU are her heirs. YOU have received a great legacy to be cherished and to be lived:
FAITH IN GOD
LOVE OF FAMILY
GRACE TO SERVE THOSE LESS FORTUNATE
All of these things were modeled to you by your grandmother, Eleanor. PAY IT FORWARD.