Mary Linda Graves Kitterman ~ 1920-2014
THE LIFE OF MARY LINDA GRAVES KITTERMAN
Mommy, Mother, Mom, Gommie, Great Gommie…
the many ways we called Mary Linda Graves Kitterman!
As we think back on the many years we knew our Mother, we would also call her friend, game-player, helper, hugger, teacher, pianist, singer, whistler, letter writer, bird-lover, good conversationalist and even better listener...but an asker- of-questions! Details...gimme the details! But, other than devoted wife and mother and grandmother, she would want to be remembered as a lover of Jesus and a servant of all. She loved to read and sing, she was a great cook and an amazing chauffeur, although always a tad bit late!
Mary was born February 25, 1920, the fourth child and 3rd daughter of Roy and Grace Graves. She was shy compared to her outgoing and rambunctious sisters, Margaret and Eleanor. She dearly loved her Mother and her Grandmother Smith. Even though Ralph was 6 years younger than Mary, they developed a closeness that lasted their lifetimes. Living on the Glen Farm together in the 1950s and ‘60s in Germantown, MD made for special cousin times for the Ralph Graves and Mary Kitterman kids...all 11 of us! We had a tribe for swimming in the creek, playing in the barns, pastures and canyon, riding stick horses and later Nick and Happy, our Shetland ponies.
Mary grew up in Kensington, Maryland and attended school in Washington, DC, which was a comfortable playground for the Graves children. She attended University of Maryland for a time and worked at the Y. She and Eleanor were friends with those handsome Kitterman men and after a time each settled on their own dear husbands. Her parents built an amazing house in Germantown, MD on adjacent property to the huge Glen Farm, where Grandaddy had a herd of milking cows. Grandaddy built the house in 1939 and 1940, using trees from the farm and milling them there. Mary lived there with her parents prior to her marriage to John on April 18, 1942, and the reception after their wedding was at that home.
John had enlisted in the Navy already at the time of their marriage. In August 1944 he was called up to serve in World War II as a full lieutenant in submarine service with his first duty station being Pearl Harbor and then on a sub-tender in Australia, Philippines and other Pacific locations. After Mom died in 2014, we found Daddy’s letters to Mom while he was gone overseas in the war. After several years, Judy-the keeper of the “stuff” we chose to save-decided it was ok to read Daddy’s letters to Mom! So she has placed them in plastic sleeves in 4 large notebooks, making them very readable. What an amazing journey through history and through their lives! They are captivating and tender...especially considering that Janet was born in November 1944, 3 months after Daddy shipped out and a year before he would finally come home in November of 1945 to meet his daughter!
Another incredible fact about the Glen Farm house is that Mary and John moved there in 1951 with 3 young girls: Janet, Patty and Judy, with baby Linda Mary on the way in February 1952. They named their home and 3+ acres “Mar-Jon”! And there they lived and raised their family, sent them off to start their own, and then both finished their days there...Daddy in 2002 and Mom in 2014. What a blessing!
Several years before Daddy died, Janet and Mike Bonner sold their Pennsylvania home and moved into Mar-Jon with the intention of helping them as Daddy’s emphysema worsened. They lived there til 2003 when they moved to Indiana. In 2006, Judy and Danny Leaman built their house attached to Mar-Jon, making it look like it belonged there! They were there to take care of Mom, yet each living in their own space. Janet (Indiana), Patty (North Carolina) and Linda (Colorado) took turns coming to help with Mom and provide relief for Judy. After Mom’s death in 2014, Judy and Danny’s daughter, Jennifer and Brian Czarniak, Rachel and Emily moved into “Gommie and Grandaddy’s” house (still to this day bearing that designation!) and did wonderful and much needed renovations. Just think...we continue to gather as a family in the home we grew up in!
Mother and Daddy were very active in Darnestown Presbyterian Church, where he was a trustee and cemetery caretaker. Mom taught and later headed the Sunday School department, sang in the choir and they did a brief stint as our Youth Group leaders! Her full-time job was taking care of her family and practically living in the kitchen with her apron on! She fixed great meals with desserts, and we had to clean our plates! We smelled fresh-baked cookies upon arriving home from school, and helped her make doughnuts and holes in her deep-fryer.
Are we wearing rose-colored glasses when we don’t remember her getting angry with us?? She was a cheerful person, not only helping us to grow up, but always helping others. That was her heart...family, neighbors, friends and strangers alike. She supported Anna Maria Perez from South America as a young girl to adulthood with money, gifts, letters, cards and prayers. She and Daddy were very active in the Good News Jail and Prison Ministry for years--visiting, assisting prisoner families and grading Bible lessons. One Christmas we all traipsed through the deep snow with goodies for each of the neighbors across the road and on the farm, with Daddy shaking a strap of jingle bells and all of us singing carols!!
Mom surely inherited her love of whistling from Gommie and Grandaddy, who would whistle to each other on the farm to call for a meal! Can anyone mimic that ditty they whistled?? Since she loved birds so much, she learned every birdsong and could whistle it, too! She loved to sing and play the piano, teaching us songs but mostly for her own enjoyment. She actually still played almost to the end of her 94 years, although not wanting anyone to listen because she said she made too many mistakes. After Daddy died, Janet could hear her singing hymns and worship songs in the middle of the night or praying out loud.
Mom loved to play games and cards, Bridge with lady friends and Poker with Eleanor and Dick and Kensington friends; but she taught us Flinch, Russian Bank, Solitaire and others! She laughed freely and played with gusto. We hold special memories of picnics, sledding on the farm and ice skating on the farm ponds.
No, I don’t believe we own rose-colored glasses...we just have such fond and loving memories of a Mother who loved her family and made us all feel special and cared for.